WLS: The Podcast Episode 9

Posted on May 21, 2013 by admin

In yet again another triumphant return to the world of podcasting Matt, Bruce, and Greg talk about so much Dick…Trickle RIP. The team also breaks down the Top 10 Best Signature Basketball Shoes of the 90′s and what Tim Tebow should do now that he’s unemployed. But don’t be discouraged there’s less sports and more talk of Cleveland, cheese, Alison Brie, women not wearing bras at farmer’s markets, Tupac’s anger, and farmersonly.com

P.S. DICK!!!!!

Oh yeah, you can listen by clicking on the “Podcast” tab above or by searching “We Like Sports Show” on your local iTunes device.

WLS Top 10: Best 90s Signature Basketball Shoes

Posted on May 20, 2013 by admin

Oh snap, ya’ll! A new Top 10 has dropped and you know what that means… A new Podcast comes out manana! This Top 10 was pretty personal for the crew cause we all grew up during the 90s and rocked a couple of these pairs. GMurr wasn’t happy with a few of our choices, so let us know how you feel by commenting below. Without further ado… Our Favorite Sneakers of the 1990s (not including Air Jordan’s… overrated I feel).

10. Nike Zoom GP (1999) Worn By “The Glove” Gary Payton, GMurr, & Matthew

9. Converse Aero Jam (1992) Worn by Larry Johnson and Grandmama

8. Reebok Question (1996) Worn by “The Answer” Allen Iverson and Matthew

7. Adidas Mutombo (1993) Worn by Dikembe Mutombo

6. Fila Grant Hill (1994) Worn by Grant Hill

5. Reebok Shaq Attaq (1992) Worn by Shaquille O’Neal during his tenure with the Greatest Basketball Team of All Time

4. Reebok Kamikaze II (1995) Worn by Shawn Kemp and Bruce

3. Ewing Athletics 33 HI (1990) Worn by Patrick Ewing

2. Nike Air Max 2 CB34 (1994) Worn by “Sir” Charles Barkley

1. Nike Air Foamposite One (1997) Worn by everyone’s favorite 90s Baller… Penny Hardaway

The Juice with Bruce: Be A Dynasty

Posted on May 17, 2013 by admin

And with the first pick of the 2014 NBA Draft, the Orlando Magic select… Forward, from the University of Kansas, Andrew Wiggins. Those words that will no doubt be spoken by future commissioner Adam Silver (so long Dave!) excite my love muscle to the extreme. Especially since the Magic will no doubt be the first team to win back to back NBA lottery’s since well… the Orlando Magic in 1992 and 1993 (no doubt Orlando will be back in the playoffs by 2016. Mark my words!).

Andrew Wiggins has been dubbed by many, as the next LeBron James (you be the judge). I believe it’s way too early to judge someone that young like that, especially since a lot of guys had been dubbed the next Michael Jordan and never turned into the next Michael Jordan. If I were Andrew Wiggins I wouldn’t want to be compared to anybody, but that’s how everyone grades up and coming athletes.

Now this blog isn’t about the future NBA drafts, but instead it deals with recruiting. On Tuesday of this week, Andrew Wiggins, ESPN’s number 1 recruit for the upcoming 2013-14 season signed his letter of intent to play one year of college ball at the University of Kansas (Walk! Chalk! Jayhawk!). I say play one year of college ball because we all know that fool is coming out once they lose in the tournament. I also say play college ball because there is no way that kid is stepping inside a classroom in Lawrence, Kansas (like many college athletes). I have no problem with Andrew Wiggins declaring to Kansas, but I do have a problem with the fact that the same programs always get the top recruits in the nation.

Let’s take a look at the top 10 college basketball programs with the most victories. From 1 to 10 we have: Kentucky, Kansas, North Carolina, Duke, Syracuse, Temple, St. John’s, UCLA, Notre Dame, and Indiana. Looking at the ESPN 2013 100, here is how many top 25 recruits each of the top 10 schools signed. Kentucky (6), Kansas (3), North Carolina (1), Duke (1), Syracuse (1), Temple (0), St. John’s (1), UCLA (0), Notre Dame (1), and Indiana (1). That means that the Top 10 historically great programs are getting 60% of the top 25 best future college basketball players. I don’t think that’s fair for the other programs. The other schools have a much harder time building their own future dynasty. However, despite the dominance of the 10 schools I’ve listed above, some schools have done very well for themselves. Gonzaga has been to 15 straight NCAA tourney’s since 1999 and Butler has had a sudden emergence to the top in the past couple years (and it doesn’t look like either school is going away).

So what’s the solution to end the dominance of the top basketball programs? The answer is an easy one; it’s all up to the recruits. If I were Andrew Wiggins, and I knew that I was the best basketball player in all the land, I would want everyone to know that I’m the absolute best. Going to Kansas will give the man some great competition in the Big XII, but what if you go to a program that is historically bad or just hasn’t been very good as of late? If you go to that school and win, you instantly go down in the record books as the greatest of all time. To ensure your ladder climb to cut down the nets in April, why not talk to the other great recruits and build a potential dynasty.

I’m almost positive that there is nothing against NCAA recruiting rules that recruits can’t talk to each other. Hell, these guys play each other every weekend at AAU and club tournaments during the offseason. If I were Andrew Wiggins, I would have approached the number 1 guys at every other position and ask them if they’d like to play with me. Picture a team of Andrew Wiggins at SF, Julius Randle at PF, Andrew and Aaron Harrison in the backcourt, and Joel Embiid as the big man in the middle. That squad would be scary good. If they all stayed 4 years, they would win 4 NCAA titles. Once they’ve all agreed on playing together, the next step is finding a school.

It’s an easy choice to declare to Kentucky and Kansas (like all those guys above have already declared to). Both schools have great traditions, both schools play great competition, both schools have excellent coaches, both schools have won in the past 5 years, both schools have made future NBA players, and both schools have boosters that will probably pay you a bunch of money. By going to these schools, you have to live up to the past expectations. You’ll be ranked along with former players at your respective university. You’ll be compared to Danny Manning, Paul Pierce, John Wall, Anthony Davis, Wilt Chamberlain, Mario Chalmers, Jamal Mashburn, among others. Going to a smaller school or school that just plain sucks, there will be no one to compare to. You’ll be seen as the savior, you’ll rule over your school with an iron dick, and you’ll be remembered as the man or team that created a new dynasty.

Since we’ve now ruled out all the top programs, where should we play ball? Below, I’ve compiled a list of 5 schools that should have been basketball dynasties 20 years ago.

First up, the University of Hawai’i at Mānoa Rainbow Warriors. If you even have to think about why this would be a good choice to attend school then you seriously need to stop farting in your brain. First of all you get to live in fucking Hawaii for 1 to 4 years. You get the sun, the beach, and the babes, what’s not to love. Since beginning ball play in 1912, the Rainbow Warriors have only made 4 appearances to the NCAA tournament. That’s fucking mind-boggling. Every recruit should have Hawaii as their top 3 choices. The only reason why someone might not go to Hawaii is the travel. Players at Hawaii are usually on the road up to two weeks at a time… Wait. That’s not a bad thing, these guys get to miss a shit ton of class. That’s it; I’m going to grad school there and becoming the Chris Weinke of College Basketball.

Our second stop on this college road trip leads us to the Big Apple, New York City. I would’ve have chose St. John’s University, but they’re a historically great program despite not being very good the last couple of years. Who could say no to playing at Madison Square Garden night in and night out? A pussy willow that’s who. Since, we’re not attending St. John’s, we’re going to a school with an even better saint name… St. Francis College. This little gem has never made it tournament and is waiting for it’s first bid. Despite not playing at MSG, the Terriers have played games at Barclays, and with a few years of dominance, I wouldn’t be surprised if their home games were played their consistently. Brooklyn has always been a base for basketball talent and to be considered the best to come out of borough would be an honor.

Time to head back to the West Coast and visit Eugene, Oregon at the campus of the University of Oregon. Some of you are probably surprised with this choice, but in all actuality, Oregon has only been to the big dance a total of 11 times since it’s inception at the turn of the century. Little known fact, the Ducks actually won the inaugural tournament in 1939, but was the good enough to get recruits… Hell no! Despite being a campus in hippy country, the University of Oregon does have one thing going for them… Nike. Being an athlete at Oregon leads to many perks and those perks come in the fashion of super limited edition shoes and gear. Goddamn those puppies are beautiful!

My next choice is a school nobody has ever heard of… Grand Canyon University, home of the Antelopes. This school will be playing its first year in Division I this Fall. In 2006, the school went through a $150 million makeover and in 2009 got another $60 million to expand the campus. My reason for going to this school… Two Words: Dan Majerle. One of my favorite players of all time, will be coaching the ‘Lopes and he will no doubt turn them into a powerhouse with some of the best recruits to ever grace the state of Arizona.

Finally we arrive at our last destination, Evanston, Illinois at the Northwestern University campus. This may be the most puzzling choice. Why go to Northwestern? Well other than it being the Ivy League school of the Midwest and it’s close proximity to Chicago, Northwestern is the only Big Ten school to have never… eeeever played in the NCAA tournament. Being the best player out of high school and going to an extremely shitty basketball program in a traditionally powerhouse basketball conference, winning would turn you into a god. Arena’s will be named after you, women will bang you till you dick is old and frail, and you will be immortalized into a statue at the campus. You would be the Jesus of Northwestern, books would be written about you, movies would be made in your honor, and every child born after your tournament win would be named after you. That should be every athlete’s goal. Being remembered as the Greatest of All-Time!

I certainly hope the classes of 2014, 2015, and 2016 read this article. Be your own man. Be creative. Be original. Do something no one else has ever done. Create your destiny. Create a dynasty. Be immortalized. Be the one that started it all. Blow minds and get blown. Become greatness.

This has been The Juice with Bruce; I hope you all enjoyed this edition as much as I enjoyed writing it. This has been a topic that I’m very passionate about. If you know of any other schools that deserve a chance at greatness, leave a comment below or you can email me at bruce@welikesportsshow.com. Until next week…

The Juice with Bruce: The 90s – Where Hockey Teams Left the Cold

Posted on May 10, 2013 by admin

“Yo… Listen up! Here’s a story, about a little guy that lives in a blue world. And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him; inside and outside. Blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette and everything is blue for him, his self, and everybody around cause he ain’t got nobody to listen… to listen… listen…”

*Editors Note* Just watched Iron Man 3 and thought I would pay homage to that film by starting this blog the same way as the movie.

The 90s! Fuck those were some good goddamn years. Simply put… the 90s rocked my fucking socks off ‘til I sweat a waterfall from my sockless feet!

The 90s had some money cartoons and toys,

brought us SNICK,

MJ raping everyone on the hardwood,

the Bills getting raped by everyone in the Super Bowl,

SNL’s greatest years,

and a pussy chasing ladies man that we called President of the United States of America.

Personally the 90s were probably my best decade. I watched those money cartoons and played with those money toys, fell in love with the games of football and basketball, wore some excellent kicks (go back to Juice’s to see my sexy Kamikaze II’s), I wrecked havoc in Mario Kart 64, kicked literal ass in Kung-Fu classes, won Student of the Year in 5^th grade, and I was pimple free the entire 10 years. However, the 90s weren’t perfect. I did get Hepatitis A (the non sexual one… come on people), Shaq and Penny betrayed my love, the Jets were absolutely horrific, and what may be worst of all… the NHL began to relocate and shaft some of the coolest hockey teams I had ever witnessed.

Sorry it’s taken so long for you to figure out what this damn Juice is about, but If you hadn’t figured it out from the last sentence (then you’re retarded), then you should go back and re-read or work on your reading comprehension (believe me, it’s important). Anyways… during the mid-90s, 4 excellent logo’d teams relocated and disappeared into obscurity. The Hartford Whalers, Minnesota North Stars, Quebec Nordiques, and Winnipeg Jets packed up their bags and headed south into uncharted hockey territory. Those teams are now known to many of you as the Carolina Hurricanes,

Dallas Stars,

Phoenix Coyotes,

and Colorado Avalanche respectively. How did we lose those 4 great teams (actually they weren’t very good, but gotta love those logos, names, jerseys, and color combos)? Let’s take a step back and examine what happened.

In 1993, North Stars owner Norman Green packed his clubs bags and headed south to Dallas. There are many reasons as to why they relocated including poor attendance and a failure to get a new arena built in Minneapolis or St. Paul. Why Dallas? Why not? The second largest market in Texas and the NHL was still not represented in the continental United States largest state. It was a no brainer to have a hockey team in Texas despite all the stereotypical redneck references we could say (I still am puzzled as to why the Stars have been embraced so well in Dallas, but since there’s so many damn people there, there’s go to be enough to sell out an arena, right?).

The next team to bite the dust, the Quebec Nordiques and this one probably hurts more than any team losing their squad. The Nordiques won the Stanley Cup in their first year as the Colorado Avalanche. This especially sucks d because historically teams that relocate reek farts, which is why the relocate in the first place, but not in the Nordiques case. Apparently, the Canadian dollar blew chunks and made it very difficult to pay player’s rising salaries giving many Canadian teams trouble staying afloat. To make matters worse, Quebec was the smallest market in the NHL (second smallest out of the major 4 after Green Bay). Quebec couldn’t handle the pressure and the owner sold the team to some investors in Denver and the rest was history.

The following year the other Jets team in professional sports, the Winnipeg Jets (on the record, I hate when two major professional sports franchises share the same name) abandoned Chris Jericho and headed west to Phoenix, Arizona. Hockey in Arizona makes less sense than hockey in Texas, but Phoenix was a rising city and a good move until recently (the NHL has owned the team since 2009). Like Quebec, Winnipeg couldn’t handle the expensive changes of the NHL and bit the dust. No worries though as the Jets returned, in form of the Atlanta Thrashers and Chris Jericho celebrated doing what he does best, the Liontamer.

This last one hits the hardest, mainly cause they have an awesome throwback logo and color combo , the Hartford Whalers. A new owner bought the team in 1994 and threatened to move the team unless attendance got better. Well that didn’t happen, despite the strong fan support. Also, governor at the time, John G. Rowland, didn’t want to spend tax money on a new arena, so the owner up and left without having an agreement with a new host city. Eventually the sexy, Whalers became the Carolina Hurricanes, and like the Avalanche and Stars enjoyed a Stanley Cup victory.

So you’re all probably wondering why I care so much, well I just hate seeing excellent fan bases get shafted in the pee hole when things aren’t going so well. Luckily, Minnesota and Winnipeg got some new hockey teams to love, but not every city has been so lucky. Quebec and Hartford will probably never house a professional hockey team again. Their arenas remain empty like those in San Diego, Buffalo, Kansas City, and Seattle (lost their basketball teams and never got a new one). However, with said talk of the Supersonics being reborn and the NHL’s inability to sell the Coyotes, Hartford and Quebec may one day see a return on the ice. I suggest everyone go out and buy some defunct gear and show your support for these teams that are itching to get back into the game. Let’s just bring back the love of the 90s, where nothing mattered but happiness.

This has been the Juice with Bruce. If you have something to say about the scribbles above, leave a comment or email me at bruce@welikesportsshow.com

Ay Dios Mio!

Posted on May 8, 2013 by admin

For the 3 of you that subscribe to We Like Sports: The Podcast, you may be wondering why there hasn’t been a new podcast up in a couple of weeks. Well to put it simply… We’ve been busy as fuck. The poor creators of the We Like Sports Show must continue to work their day jobs in order to fund this website and podcast you all love so dearly.

So while, Matt is off in the Land of Cleve being force fed by Michael Symon’s genius, Enzo is cleaning poopy diapers, Jon is teaching kegel seminars at a local rec center, Greg is lost finding the island of Lost, Artie is being farty, and Bruce is continuing to crank out some juice with help from his right hand (every Friday by the way… Tell your friends!), make sure to re-listen to our older episodes in anticipation of our return (and watch some good ass NBA and NHL Playoffs!). Go to our podcast section at the top of our page or search We Like Sports Show on iTunes.

Oh and if you didn’t know already, WLS great, Rico Beef, died in a Tug-o-War-o-Death battle across the Grand Canyon against his nemesis Chet Cheesechest. Rico is survived by his 3 Blind Mice and his left testicle, Tomas. Rico, you will be sorely missed.

In the words of the great Portlandia cast member, Fred Armisen… Ay Dios Mio.

The Juice with Bruce: A Shitty Lakers Team? Count Me In!

Posted on May 3, 2013 by admin

Hate as defined by myself is “someone or something that makes me angry at the site of them thus sparking my desire for their destruction.” Many have said that hate is a strong word and should never use it, but I disagree. There are so many things that I hate in this world, that I just wish would spontaneously combust to make the work a better place. I hate Tom Brady, traffic in LA, getting less than 8 hours of sleep, realitykings.com for replacing the original Milf Hunter (still my favorite site though… I can hate you, but my dick will never), the stupid fucking douche kids that I work with, and most important of all, I fucking hate the Los Angeles Lakers.

On Sunday, April 28^th 2013, the Lakers were swept away from the playoffs by Big Fundamental and his San Antonio Spurs. Watching the Lakers fail puts a gigantic smile on my face and I welcome it at every turn. Lakers fans even came into this season believing that this team would even surpass the ’95-’96 Bulls (this statement alone proves why Lakers fans are among the dumbest fans in all of sports, next to Raiders and Dodgers fans. Shit. That must mean LA as a whole is filled with dumb fucks). When the season began and the Lakers kept sucking my dick grew bigger and bigger as if Pinocchio was telling a lie. Despite the losses I had no doubt in my mind that the Lakers would make the playoffs especially since they are the commissioner’s favorite team (don’t worry peeps, we’ll be talking about NBA conspiracies in the coming months). However, the minute Kobe went down with an Achilles injury, I shoryukened the shit out of my ceiling and came like a fire hydrant busted open during a hot summer’s day. I knew with the loss of Kobe, good things were about to happen.

And those good things came with a little ole goose that laid a fat egg in the Lakers playoff win column. It was quite a beautiful site to behold. All Kobe could do was send stupid ass tweets as his teammates were being rammed, lube less, from behind. And like that my nemesis was gone. I could enjoy some good basketball without Kobe and the Lakers getting in the way. Now I cant fully enjoy the playoffs with the Magic sucking vagina and all, but no Lakers gives me the same feeling as if the Magic won the title (sad, I know, but the Magic and Jets will probably never bring me a title so watching the teams I hate brings me just as much joy).

So where am I going with this newest edition of The Juice with Bruce. Well… I’m about to tell you. The insecurity of the Lakers future of possible suckage gets me to 100% boner quicker than Rachel Starr and Christy Mack begging me to plow them vaginally. There’s an incredibly good chance the Lakers could suck for quite awhile. Let’s look at some of the factors.

Factor numero uno: Kobe tore his Achilles tendon. Kobe is about to be 36 years old. Very little players play past 40. All those minutes he’s played has definitely caught up to his now decrepit body. They say he’ll be out for roughly 6 – 9 months. And that’s being generous. If I had to guess, he’s probably out at least ‘til All-Star break. How good is a Laker team without Kobe. Last time they went without Kobe for a season they got bounced in the first round (’95-’96 season. Whoa. Same as the Bulls rape season.) Even if Dwight comes back, do you see a Dwight led team winning a title? (Magic fans would agree with me when I say no.)

That brings me to factor numero dos: Will Dwight resign? My gut tells me yes. Why? Cause he can get way more money with the Lakers than any other team. And like most black athletes they are greedy as fuck and need to pay their baby mama’s child support. If for some reason Dwight decides to sign with Houston or Dallas or even Cleveland, where I believe he has a better chance of winning especially if he signs with Houston or Cleveland then the Lakers are beyond screwed. No Kobe for half the season and no big presence to cover up the fact there is no Kobe means awful fucking team. And that rules! As long as Dwight remains healthy a Beard-Dwight combo or an Uncle Drew/Dwight combo equals dominance.

What about factor numero tres? What to do with Pau and the rest of the crew? Pau probably hates everyone in the Lakers organization right now. If I were him, I’d demand a trade and get the fuck out. Dude stepped it up a bit during the playoffs and minus Kobe getting a triple dub a few times. If the Lakers do in fact become Dwight’s team, Pau won’t work. A stretch 4 would be best. Pau for Bargnani trade would be nice especially since Bargnani blows ass. What about Steve Nashty? Dude is not Nashty anymore. (Probably a horrific pickup by the Lakers in the offseason) Clearly Nash is nowhere near the man he used to be. He’s old and fragile. In my opinion, he needs to retire. He has 0 chance of succeeding in the deepest, youngest, quickest position in the league. What about Metta World Fucking Retard? Who gives a shit? I hope his ass stays in LA cause we all know he’d be in China if it weren’t for the Lakers. However, we all know his ass will probably end up in China once the Lakers amnesty him.

The way I believe the Lakers will handle their offseason is by amnesty-ing Metta. Resigning Dwight and Earl Clark. They will probably trade Pau to Toronto for Bargnani. Nash will stay as will Kobe. This team without Kobe will probably battle for the 8^th spot again. There’s a good chance they don’t make any moves and keep the team the same. Pau and Dwight will probably bring them to the 7^th seed. The Lakers making the playoffs next year means no lottery pick in the deepest draft since 2003. Which I’m totally ok with. The Lakers will no doubt get bounced from the first round again.

What will probably happen, knowing my luck is that the Lakers will miss the playoffs. They will be awarded the number 1 pick in the 2014 draft. Draft Andrew Wiggins, Jabari Parker, or Marcus Smart. They would then resign Kobe for little money and get the prized possession of that year’s free agent class LeBron James. They’ll then have a core of Marcus Smart, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Earl Clark, and Dwight Howard. This team will probably win a hundred championships and cause my suicidal death. Fucking awesome, huh?

Whatever, the Lakers do this offseason there’s no doubt we’ll be watching. I believe 2014 will be the beginning of a new era and power shift in the NBA. A NBA without Kobe Bryant! Gasp! I certainly like the sound of that! This has been The Juice with Bruce. Drop a comment below and if you’re wondering why I hate the Lakers so goddamn much, you’ll find out why shortly in another edition of The Juice with Bruce. Enjoy that Grizzlies-Heat final people!

You can reach Bruce at bruce@welikesportshow.com or by following him on twitter @brucemiller30

The Juice with Bruce: To Watch the Draft or Not Watch The Draft? That is the Question

Posted on April 26, 2013 by admin

As I sit back in my recliner with laptop topping my lap, watching the NFL draft, I can’t help but wonder, “Who’s winning the Bulls-Nets game?” (During the commercial break I found out that the Bulls were winning by 10 in the second quarter). Even though I am almost entirely bored as fuck watching Roger Goodell return to the podium 32 times to announce nearly 32 guys I’ve never heard of live their dream, for some fucking reason I have to watch. (There is no chance in hell that I watch rounds 2-7… Come on now. I’m not that retarded).

Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching this bitch consistently since the age of 8. (Can you believe an 8 year old sat in front of a TV screen with a pen and paper writing down every pick until he got bored to play with his power ranger zords? I can’t. That kid probably got 0 poon until 19.) Maybe it’s because I am a man that loves Chris Berman so much that I want to go all the way with his butt hole and in order to do so I must watch him analyze the incoming class? Maybe it’s because I hope for a glimpse of some young stud’s hot wife, girlfriend, sister, or mom (Last year’s draft was stacked with potential like Ryan Tannehill’s wife and Matt Kalil’s sister and mom).

SIDE NOTE: I would love to go out and get some ice cream with Matt Kalil’s sister and mom, shove the cone filled with ice cream on my dick and have them lick it off. How is this plausible you ask? Matt Kalil’s mom and sister are hot as fuck and will keep my dick hard with their lips and tongues.

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: I certainly hope A.J. McCarron is invited to his draft class so I can get another glimpse of the smokin’ hot girlfriend of his. I know Brent Mussburger agrees with me.

All those arguments above are excellent reasons to why I watch the NFL draft. It’s a tradition; occasionally entertaining, and can give a random boner at any moment. However, over the years there have been many accounts as to why I stop watching after the Jets make their more than likely horrific pick or future superstar that will be traded away in 4 years pick.

For years, the NFL draft was on Saturday and Sunday mornings with Rounds 1-3 on Saturday and Rounds 4-7 on Sunday. As a kid this blew ass cause 1. The NFL draft interferes with Saturday Morning Cartoons and 2. The NFL draft leaves me inside while I should be outside playing hide-and-seek in the neighbors yard. To make matters worse, each pick lasted 20 minutes. 20 goddamn fucking minutes to make a pick! Even the team with the first pick took all the allotted time. You had from 4 fucking months to decide whom you wanted to pick! No wonder the Bengals suck poop consistently. Thank god, the NFL made the change to shorten the time to make a pick, but they extended the draft to 3 days, during Prime Time conflicting with Parks and Recreation and Community. Bastards.

Another frustration of mine, which is no doubt a frustration of some of the players, is that the NFL invites way too many dudes to the Radio City Music Hall in New York City. Watching dudes like Aaron Rodgers and now Geno Smith fall and fall and fall and fall into a deep abyss of insecurity is tough to watch. Dude is about to cry.

Now Aaron Rodgers did eventually get picked up in the first round and has done wonders since having a ton of bricks dropped on his young ego, but what about Geno Smith. Dude will probably never start a game since he’ll probably back up Mark Sanchez next year with the Jets, but what blows even harder (not sure if it does or not) is the Geno is stuck in New York with no draft cap and the embarrassment of being a for sure first round pick having to change his plane ticket because he has to stay in New York for at least an extra day. Damn that’s gonna suck having to deal with those damn airlines.

Now they usually don’t announce the salaries of these whippersnappers just yet, but the money that these pre-pubescent NFL stars are outrageous. The kids have never taken a snap in the league of all league and yet they are making more money that my family and 17,000 other families will never see in there lifetime, combined. When Matthew Stafford and Sam Bradford signed 6-year contracts for $72 million and $78 million respectably, I immediately shat a fat ass brick. I understand the dudes were studs in college, but look at them now, still haven’t even made a Pro Bowl and only one has been to the playoffs and that’s thanks to the main antagonist of Transformers, Megatron. Since the two of them have been drafted, players have been paid significantly less as Cam Newton and Andrew Luck signed 4-year, $22 million contracts each. In my opinion first round rookies should be paid the average salary of a player, while others are paid significantly less. Now I think all athletes should be paid way less and should just have great medical and retirement benefits. Maybe I’m just bitter that I barely make above minimum wage at my wonderful place of employment. Either way the pay of athletes is for another blog at another time.

Well with another NFL draft under wraps, (would rather shit a baby rhinoceros than watch and/or cover the other rounds of the draft) so is another blog. Whether you enjoy the draft or not, I certainly hope you enjoyed this blog or at the very least the pictures of the hot women above. Oh and just so you know, the grand daddy of all drafts is coming up in June. Maybe there will be a blog about the NBA draft in the coming months. Eh… I haven’t decided yet.

This has been The Juice with Bruce. Drop off a comment below or send me an email at bruce@welikesportsshow.com about how shitty this blog was. Hey any kind of response would be welcomed with open arms. Peace!

The Juice with Bruce was written by this guy!

WLS: The Podcast Episode 8

Posted on April 23, 2013 by admin

Holy fuck balls! Are you ready to experience to joy and excitement of Lay’s Chicken & Waffle chips!?!?! Yeah, you are. In this week’s episode the mighty force known as the We Like Sports Crew (Matt, Bruce, Enzo, & Artie) debate on how long it will take T-Woods aka Tigger Woods aka Tiger’s Wood aka Tiger Woods aka Tiger Tiger Woods Ya’ll to cheat on Lindsey Vonn and with who. The Top 10 is at it’s best as they break down to best fictional sports movie athletes of all time. Last but not least they team debuts a brand new segment titles “What Would You Do?”

Get Some!!!

P.S. Our spirits have been high since the downfall of one, Kobe Bean Bryant.

WLS Top 10: Best Fictional Movie Athletes

Posted on April 22, 2013 by admin

Another week, another We Like Sports Top 10 list. Boy was this one a doozy! We had a great time compiling this list and would like to apologize to all those who were omitted. Ladies and gentlemen… Here is your Top 10 Best Fictional Movie Athletes!

10. Adam Banks portrayed by Vincent Larusso (The Mighty Ducks 1992; D-2: The Mighty Ducks 1994; D-3: The Mighty Ducks 1996)

9. Becky “Ice Box” O’Shea portrayed by Shawna Waldron (Little Giants 1994)

8. Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez portrayed by Mike Vitar (The Sandlot 1993)

7. Happy Gilmore portrayed by Adam Sandler (Happy Gilmore 1996)

6. Randy “The Ram” Robinson portrayed by Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler 2008)

5. Ricky Bobby portrayed by Will Ferrell (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby 2006)

4. Air Bud portrayed by Buddy (Air Bud 1997, Air Bud: Golden Receiver 1998)

3. “Wild Thing” Rick Vaughn portrayed by Charlie Sheen (Major League 1989)

2. Jimmy Chitwood portrayed by Maris Valainis (Hoosiers 1986)

1. Rocky Balboa portrayed by Sylvester Stallone (Rocky 1976, Rocky II 1979, Rocky III 1982, Rocky IV 1985, Rocky V 1990, Rocky Balboa 2006)

We Like Sports would also like to congratulate Kevin Costner on his lifetime achievement award. You will be receiving your award via email in the next 7-10 days.

The Juice with Bruce: T-N-T! It’s Dy-na-mite!

Posted on April 19, 2013 by admin

As I sit here watching the NBA on ESPN halftime show, I can’t help myself but think… man is TNT so much better. Naw, I’m just playing I’ve always thought that. I’d take my boys EJ, Kenny, Charles, and Shaq over Jalen, Magic, Wilbon, and Simmons (well not Simmons and Wilbon, those two belong on the Mount Rushmore of sports media!) any damn day of the week. And since ESPN and ABC have most of the television rights, we’ll be stuck watching another Lakers – Celtics final led by Jalen (not even top 10 Rose’s) Rose.

*Side Note: If you didn’t already know this, the NBA is rigged and since the Lakers are David Stern’s favorite team and no doubt he’ll get Kobe his 6^th ring over a city that has gone through devastating tragedy aka the Boston Celtics. Sports teams tend to do well after tragedy (i.e. New Orleans Saints). Ahh… but I digress.

Anyways… This edition of The Juice with Bruce is about my love for the TNT crew and my hatred for the ESPN/ABC crew (well mainly Magic and Jalen). Luckily we’ll get those TNT gents up until the end of the Western Conference finals. But sadly, we have to listen to Magic talking about the Lakers for an extra week or two, which greatly pisses me off daily.

Now, I don’t want everyone to think that I just hate ESPN cause I don’t. I just prefer TNT. However, there are some good things that I can say about the ESPN crew. First and foremost, Bill (the fucking king of sports media) Simmons. This dude just rocks my socks off, so much that I then pick those socks off the floor, strap it on my wiener and go to town while I read some Grantland articles. Everything about Simmons I love with the exception of him being a Patriots fan (sorry Bill but FUCK TOM BRADY!). Dude is funny, well versed, and gets down and dirty when doing research for his epic ass articles. Bill has no fear when speaking his mind even if he gets suspended by ESPN for hating on it’s own shitty occasional programming. If only you’d leave ESPN, Bill. There are greener pastures here at We Like Sports (not really, but someday?).

Another man, who tickle’s my fancy, would be none other than Jeff Van Gundy. Not only is this tiny bald man an awesome color commentator, but also he’s the brother of the greatest basketball coach of all-time.

Oh, Stan. I miss you so.

I thoroughly enjoy the way Jeff criticizes everything. He believes every player is a pussy, something I believe as well. He always comes up with great ideas that would make the league better. Like not letting the fans vote for our All-Star starters (there’s a lot of idiot NBA fans. If you vote Dwight to start and almost have Jeremy Lin start then there’s a problem.) Another grand idea, fining floppers and the NBA listened! That’s using your voice Jeff! Whether it’s sitting next to Mike Breen or holding on to Alonzo’s leg during a grade A NBA scuffle, you’re a winner in my eyes Jeff.

With the positive factors put aside, I want to go on a rant to my two least favorite parts of watching the NBA on ESPN. If you remember from earlier, Magic and Jalen blow ass behind a desk. Jalen also blows ass on the court. Fuck you Jalen for allowing Kobe to score 81!

This is exactly how you play shitty defense, children.

You’re also like the third best dude from the Fab Five. Can we all stop talking Jalen up for being part of the Fab Five? Seriously. C-Webb and Juwan were beasts! Shit, TNT even knew that C-Webb was not only a better baller, but also more articulate and entertaining behind a desk. Good shit, TNT. Good shit. Jalen you just suck, plain and simple.

Magic on the other hand, damn, please stop showing yourself on television. Don’t you have a billion dollar baseball team to manage? I know many of you watch the NBA on ESPN, so I’m sure you all have a good idea as to why The Magic Hour was cancelled. I can’t understand half the shit Magic says anyways, but when I do I know he’s talking about the Lakers. Please sports media; get biased ex-athletes away from the television monitors. I doubt anyone would like to see me bash the Lakers 24-hours a day (I actually beg to differ), so there’s no doubt no one wants to see or hear Magic praise his beloved Lakers. Magic, take all you Dodgers money, hire a speech therapy coach, and admit to the world that you never had HIV! (It’s Matt’s fault! He’ll explain everything!)

Enough with ESPN, let’s praise those guys in Atlanta! There are so many great things I could say about TNT. Charles not giving a fuck ever. Shaqtin-a-fool. Ernie “fucking” Johnson. Kenny constantly making fun of Charles. The production crews excellent photo-shop skills. Ernie Johnson. Craig Sager’s suits and matching shoes. Reggie and C-Webb. Gone fishin’. And of course Ernie Johnson. I actually had the pleasure once to shake hands with Charles, Kenny and EJ. Charles and Kenny could’ve cared less about shaking my hand, but Ernie; the elevator was definitely enthused to give the greatest handshake I’ve ever had.

Intellectual (eh… not really the 3 black dudes sitting with Ernie), comedic, and lots of fun, the TNT crew pumps me up every Thursday night when I watch some baloncesto. I usually skip the pre-game and post-game activities, but with the TNT crew I always catch myself staying up to watch them ramble about basketball and nonsense. I just fuckin’ love it so much. If TNT could somehow steal away Jeff Van Gundy and team him up with Reggie and Marv, I’d cum in my boxer briefs.

Even though, we’re all stuck watching the finals on ABC, we all should be very thankful we are still able to enjoy some playoff basketball on TNT. We also get to enjoy the lottery and the greatest weekend in sports, All-Star weekend. Let’s all take the rest of this time to pray that the Lakers don’t go deep with all the rigging David Stern will no doubt do, so we don’t have to hear Magic ramble and Jalen quote possibly the greatest poet of all-time, Drake (sense any sarcasm?). As Charles Barkley would say, “Thass trbl!”

This was The Juice with Bruce. Get pumped for some playoff basketball people!

Hit this 6 out of 10 up by emailing him at bruce@welikesportsshow.com and/or following him on Twitter @brucemiller30